Remembering the Eve of the New Year

My earliest recollection of a New Years Eve celebration includes me, my sister Allie and our cousins Kim and Michelle, walking through the streets of Drexel Hill, PA banging pots and pans and screaming, "Happy New Year!"

As I refresh this memory, I wonder why it was not bathed in the blackness of night but rather, illuminated by the fading light of the early evening. Then, I realize, I was probably six years old and this celebration probably occurred somewhere between 4:30 and 5:30, a good 8 hours before the actual New Year.

Like many of you, watching the Ball drop from Times Square was the highlight of the holiday for as long as I can remember. Most of the time, my mom would wake us up ten minutes before the big moment. We'd struggle to keep our eyes open determined to participate in the countdown and cheer with the revelers on the television, only to crash ten minutes after the ball settled into its final destination.

At some point, I outgrew the Times Square experience and moved on to the Rose Parade route. We lived about 3 minutes from the parade route, and considered New Years Eve our one and only camping trip of the year. It began with a small cluster of kids and their moms (amongst the larger cluster of thousands lining Colorado Blvd in Pasadena), huddled in sleeping bags, playing scrabble, tag or cards while sipping on hot chocolate.

As the years went by, the moms were seldom seen. Tag and cards turned into cruising the route (on foot or by car) or shaving cream fights. The hot chocolate remained but peppermint Schnapps was added (sorry mom and dad...I now realize the error of my ways!). The midnight pinnacle would come and go and sleep was seldom found. Ironically, this whole event was designed to secure the best seats for the parade, but most of us ended up sleeping through the festivities (damn those marching bands!!!).

Oh, to be so motivated!

For the past few years, I've celebrated the New Year on East Coast time (even though I've lived in either Pacific or Mountain time) only because I stubbornly refuse to give up an extra 2-3 hours of sleep. Pretty soon, I'll be celebrating with the Europeans. Although, this year I was especially ambitious...I spent .23 seconds planning a drive to Aspen to see Jane's Addiction this New Years. I quickly realized the utter, ridiculous impossibility of this plan when you throw overnight babysitters into the mix. Forgetaboutit.

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, enjoy the celebration and hang on to the thoughts that, for most of us, 2010 can only be better....

Seeing Me Naked - A Review

I realize how crazy the title of this post may seem, but much to the delight of my husband and parents, Seeing Me Naked is the latest novel I've consumed and I'm eager to share a review. I found out about author Liza Palmer from the brilliantly witty two-some of Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke over at ChickLitIsNotDead.com. They have a Q&A with Palmer posted now. I went to the library to find her new release, A Field Guide to Burying Your Parents, but it wasn't available so I checked out her sophomore novel instead. I'm so glad I did.

First of all, the last three novels I've read have been based in New York City. While I'm sure New York is great, I am a California girl at heart and was excited to see that Palmer and I grew up in the same area, Pasadena, California. Seeing Me Naked sporadically takes place in Pasadena and I felt an odd solace in this. I connected with the main character, Elisabeth Page, and understood the nuances of the area, the lifestyle to which she refers and the geographic references. Of course this isn't necessary to enjoy the read, it just helped me connect to it on another level.

Given the title of the book (and the cover photo), you may think you know what it's about, but you don't. In Elisabeth Page, Palmer skillfully creates a lovable and talented character on a journey to define her own success independent of her famous (and pretentious) family. Just when she thinks she will never be good enough, her life takes an unexpected turn that enables her to explore options she never thought possible, both professionally and personally. Rather than striving to control every aspect of her life, Elisabeth now has an opportunity to let go of her critical ways and let down her guard. This new-found vulnerability takes her to a better place, where she values her own unique skills, lets go of her family's expectations and stripes down to reveal the real Elisabeth.

Palmer is funny, authentic and honest. She leaves the reader wondering if the walls and other protective mechanisms we've established in our lives are keeping us from experiencing true joy. I highly recommend this novel.

Goodbye, Mini-Van.

We sold our mini-van today. I just watched it turn the corner with its new owners happily in the midst of at least seventeen cup holders. My audible sigh of relief surely reached to the far corners of the earth as the heavy label of suburban soccer-mom lifted from my shoulders, revealing minor indentations but no permanent damage.

How Did It Come to This?
We bought that mini-van about two years ago, in spite of my kicking and screaming. Eventually, I succumbed to reason, realizing that there are only a handful of automobiles capable of comfortably transporting three child car-seats, the parental units attached to those car-seats, and the occasional guest or two. The monstrous Suburban that preceded the mini-van proved to be logistically suitable, but my back began to wince at the thought of hurling the kids/infant carrier into the colossal seats, which seemed to get higher and higher with every journey.

When we went to test drive “mini,” my husband had to pry me out of the car. I couldn’t believe I was “going there.” I had already found myself smack dab in the middle of the suburbs and now this!? Growing up, my mom was the proud owner of a navy blue Dodge Caravan (it even had its own family theme song: “We’ve Got the Whole World in Our Van”). I think it was one of the first mini-van models on the road. Although we did have some fun journeys, I vowed to never drive a mini-van when I was around fourteen.

Like other reluctant van-drivers, I too decided that the automatic sliding doors, easily accessible seats, spacious interior, DVD player (with headsets so I don’t have to hear Dora a gazillion times a day!) and plethora of cup-holders were worth the shot to my ego. It just made sense, especially since our kids are so young and still need help buckling their seat belts (which means I need to scale whatever seats are in the back to make sure everyone is secure). Bottom line: I drove it and I liked it. There. I said it. And, I actually found the ridiculous number of cup holders quite useful.

Au Voir, Mini
In the seven years my husband and I have been married, we’ve owned TWELVE different cars, so maybe it was easy to say “yes” to mini in the first place because I always knew her stay would be short and sweet. A few weeks ago, I could see it in his eyes. Another vehicle was on the horizon. Click. Click. Click. Mini was now officially listed on autotrader.com and we were prepared to usher her onto her new owners with no remorse or regret.

Shockingly (or not), mini-vans are in high demand! Everyone interested in mini seemed to be living the exact life we were living when we first purchased her. We could see the prospective buyers coming from miles away. Lots of little kids trailing behind frazzled parents searching for a sensible and safe automobile that would survive the Colorado snow and ensure sanity on long trips. Of course, the mileage, condition and maintenance records are secondary to the DVD player, (wipe-able) leather seats and countless CUP HOLDERS!

Today, we cleaned out the remnants of fruit snacks, juice boxes and crayon pieces and handed the keys to those frazzled parents who loaded up a new batch of car seats and proceeded to populate the seats with their own brood. I could just imagine mini saying, “here we go again.” And off they went.

Now What?
So now the hunt begins. My husband loves this part. It gives him license to pour over tons and tons of web sites perusing the Internet for the next great deal. Now that two of our three children are in booster seats and can buckle their own safety belts, the sliding doors and accessible back row have lost their luster. I’ve paid my mommy-dues and now I’m ready to move on from the obligatory mini-van stage. Maybe #13 will stick around for a while (maybe not). Either way, I look forward to seeing what pulls up to our house. And the first thing I’ll do is count the cup holders.

Urban Meyer - The Mentor Lives On

The majority of men in his position would toil on, regardless of health concerns or an impossible schedule that takes them away from their families. Dream jobs don't come easily. As a highly successful college football coach, most men would justify sticking it out even in the face of off-the-field adversity. Yesterday, Urban Meyer, coach for the University of Florida Gators, shocked the sports world by announcing that he would be stepping down from the helm of the fifth ranked team in the country.

Perhaps the best response I've seen to this decision came from Meyer's 18-year-old daughter who said, "I get my daddy back." I'm sure Meyer could not hope for sweeter words, which also serve to validate what must have been a very difficult decision. "I saw it as a sign from God that this was the right thing to do," Meyer told The Times of his daughter's reaction. "I was worried about letting people down. I was feeling so awful and concerned about my health. That was among several other signs that said it's time to back away."

He names health concerns (specifically a heart-valve defect) as his main reason for leaving his coaching position, but it is reported that his concerns are not life-threatening. Walking away at this point in his career clearly demonstrates his priorities: family and faith. His commitment is a rare example of striving for excellence in life, not just in the limelight. In an official statement, Meyer mentions the fact that he has been mentoring young men for 20+ years. What better way to continue his mentoring but through his courageous and selfless decision.

Time of My Life - Review

I just finished Allison Winn Scotch's Time of My Life at record pace. This is one of those books that ignites your curiosity and wills you to flip the pages faster than your eyes can follow just for a glimpse of what's to come. I definitely related to the main character, Jillian, on several levels. As a mother of a young daughter and a former advertising executive, Jillian found herself swept up by circumstances and suddenly deposited in the suburbs, engulfed by a life she hardly recognized as her own.

After a fortuitous unblocking of her "chi" during a massage session, Jillian was granted an opportunity to re-live the past seven years of her life.

In re-living her life, Jillian finds new perspective on her "real" life. Perhaps she wasn't just along for the ride (as she initially felt), but solely responsible for the life she created. Armed with this insight, she rediscovers her husband as the man she fell in love with and vows to not allow her own identity to disappear under the weight of reality.

Putting the chi-unblocking aside, I initially considered how exciting it would be to find myself deposited in the past, able to correct bad decisions and explore paths unknown, but armed with the knowledge of the future. But, when the last page was turned, I was inspired to embrace the present like never before.

Jillian's story was fun, fast-paced and one to which women in suburbs all over the country can relate. We've all asked the "What If?" questions at one time or another. In this case, Jillian was able to answer the questions. In doing so, she realized the real question should be "What now?"

I definitely recommend this novel for an entertaining read, especially if you've ever considered what your life would look like if you had chosen a different path....

Can the doctor make me stop growing?

The other day I was driving home from church with our three kids in the back seat when I heard Rocco whimpering. I looked back and he was doing his best to contain his little 4-year-old tears. "Roc, what's wrong, buddy?" I said.

"Mommy, I want you to take me to see Dr. Brian right now."

Alarmed by the request to see our pediatrician immediately, I prepare to pull over.

He stops me saying, "I want him to give me something so that I stop growing...and I need it now before I grow any more."

Hmmm...I wonder what this is about? I wait in silence to see if he voluntarily divulges.

"I just know that when I grow up, you will leave me." The sobs get louder.

I try to contain my laughter. He is seriously the most adorable thing.

"Oh, Rocco...Dr. Brian can't make you stop growing. Nobody can. God wants you to grow up so that you can learn more about His blessings."

"But, but, but...I only want to learn about His blessings if you promise you won't leave me. "

Of course, I promised. Roc is truly a example of the tremendous dichotomy that can exist within us as humans. One second, he is clotheslining his baby sister for no reason, "Just because I can." The next, he is in a puddle of tears at the prospect of losing his mama somewhere down the road. Precious.

Namaste, Shamaste

I know some people really have a hard time motivating themselves to exercise. For me, it's more about finding the time. The motivation is always there. In fact, if I do not run, ride or struggle through at least 20 chatarangas a day, I am a very grumpy person. Our schedule lately has been nuts. Between trying to fit in ballet classes, preparing for Christmas, taking care of the mounting maintenance issues around the house and running a business, exercise is hard to come by.

Due to my recent subsequent grumpiness, my husband has been reminding me that my yoga studio has a 6am class. I am well aware. I just cannot stand mornings. It's been too cold here to run or ride, so this morning I rallied. When the alarm went off at 5:30, I tried to convince myself to stay in bed. But, knowing how I would feel at 3pm, without having exercised, I got up and got going.

It just seems unnatural to me to drive to yoga in the dark. It's so much easier in the summertime, when you can at least feel hopeful that the sun is peaking over the horizon. When I finally make it to my mat, I recall a time, a few months back, when I laid on my back to wait for class to start. Fifteen minutes into Sun Salutation A, I woke up and realized that I was indeed in yoga class...and I was indeed just asleep. This morning, I grabbed some weights and tried to get my blood flowing to shake off the sleepiness (I wasn't going to let that happen again!).

As always, I felt so much better after profusely sweating for an hour (and before 7am!). My goal is to make it to 6am yoga just once or twice a week this winter. With 2 or 3 afternoon classes, I should be a happy camper. Should I slack, I'm sure my husband will be there with a cheerful reminder, "You know, there is a 6am class tomorrow." Ugh.

A Morning at the McKays

Welcome to a morning at the McKay house. Like many households with three young children, the morning begins with a blaring alarm that inevitably screams hours before you expect it to. After three meetings with the snooze button, I don a robe and slippers and slowly plod towards the kids' room, avoiding all interaction with reflective surfaces of any kind, especially mirrors!

Tip-toeing into their room, I resist the urge to climb into bed with someone. Instead, I gently trying to convince my oldest to wake up without disturbing her younger brother or sister, which regularly results in a loud, primal morning roar that wakes up both brother and sister.

Now that the entire clan is roused, the breakfast chaos begins. At this point, I have every intention of providing a creative and nutritious meal. "Perhaps a spinach and mushroom fritatta with fresh fruit," I think. Opening the refrigerator, I recall the trip to the grocery store that didn't happen yesterday, or the day before. I grab the Cheerios.

While the kids are eating, I shuffle into the bathroom and try to make myself presentable. Cue: The McKay Family morning soundtrack:

Track 1: "STOP looking at ME!!"

This is Eden's morning anthem. Only she can harness the raw emotion of pure annoyance necessary to reflect the true meaning of the song. Careful observation has created a substantial amount of data to prove that this song will indeed play, whether or not someone is actually looking at her.

Track 2: "More Cerealllllllll Mommmm!"

Rocco belts this one out with reckless abandon, reminiscent of a young Mozart wildly guiding his orchestra. Interestingly, the longer I take, the more animated he becomes, carving each word with sharp little verbal knives. If the cereal does not come, he transitions into an unforgettable performance of "MOMMY MOMMYYYYY" but I try to save that special song for the days when my mental stability is seriously in question. Oddly enough, so does he.

Track 3: "I spilled...I SPILLED!"

Our littlest songbird, Gioia, wraps up the performance with this beautiful melody, which really shows off her range. It starts off whisper soft, as if just throwing the words out into the universe will magically usher in a uniformed cleaning crew. When the cleaning crew fails to arrive, our little princess reaches into the depths of her soul and wrangles up super-human bravado to howl the second verse. Still no cleaning crew, but I emerge from the bathroom prepared to mop up an entire bowl of milk and the remnants of soggy Cheerios.

Then...silence. My three children exchange perplexed stares that say, "what do we do now?" From here, the morning is dictated by the day's planned events (school, play date, park, errands), but whatever path the family takes, I somehow end up glancing at the clock to realize it's 11am and I am still recovering/cleaning/dressing/planning. Off to school to pick up Eden and the afternoon chaos unfolds.....

The Fallacy of Joblessness

I just got into work and heard about the workplace drama that occurred yesterday. As owners of a massage therapy studio, my husband and I are no strangers to drama. It seems "crazy pills" are often served at massage school (most manage to avoid them but some must pop them like candy). But, for the most part, we have a pretty solid team of very skilled therapists. Recently, our managing therapist hired a lady who seemed eager to work and talented (oddly, a rare mix). Yesterday was her first day. She came in at 9am but didn't have a client scheduled until 1p. At noon, she decided to venture out to grab a coffee. Our receptionist pointed her in the direction of Starbucks and reminded her of her 1p as she walked out the door. 12:30 flies by. Then 12:45. Just before 1, her client walks in and takes a seat in the waiting room. You guessed it...1p, she is not back. She is never back. She just decides to not come back at all! Fortunately, we had a therapist available to take the client, but this woman's lack of respect was shocking.

Of course, this is a frustrating situation but all new therapists are expected to build their clientele. We help get the clients in the door, but they need to do their part to earn re-books and an established list of loyal clients. Going through some slow days (or even weeks depending on the time of year) at the beginning is part of paying yours dues. Those who stick it out eventually have a steady flow of clients, provided they are excellent therapists. Those who have a bad attitude about the situation don't get booked. Clearly, this woman expected to have a fully loaded schedule on day 1 and that is just not how it works (side note: we had a snow storm yesterday too, which greatly impacts bookings. Not an "excuse" but part of reality. It happens).

The worst part is the message she left early this morning. Summing it up, she said (in a very condescending and aloof tone) that she couldn't handle working for a "chain" because chains make her "stomach turn", her time was too valuable to be sitting around, she wasn't sure why she was hired to begin with and we obviously aren't busy enough to deserve her.

Seriously! As a small business owner, I have a hard time believing the news about our tanking economy and joblessness. Finding decent, honest, hard-working, skilled people to work is the most difficult part of owning a business. We pay our employees well and spend a ton of money on advertising for them. We don't even pay ourselves until we absolutely have to. In return, we get people stealing from us, doing their job with half-effort, showing up late (or not at all) and generally acting as if their job is a right. To be fair, our current staff doesn't often exhibit this behavior, but all of this has happened before...and I'm sure it will happen again.

Yes, we are a "chain"...a family-owned chain. There is no big corporation keeping our gears spinning. We are the mice in the wheel. Ironically, Obama's plan to address the unemployment rate includes "empowering small businesses to increase their hiring". Ha! How about empowering the work force to actually work?

TRULY an Inconvenient Truth

Speaking as an independent-minded Conservative, GlimateGate is a big deal. While the media is paying only scant attention to the issue, we cannot ignore the fact that we've been intentionally duped in recent years to believe the global warming hype. Al Gore's entire existence on the national and international political stage is entirely based on his global warming "pet project." His documentary (and I use that term loosely), An Inconvenient Truth, has been celebrated, awarded and broadcast in our schools! Why is this not causing global outrage? We've been made to feel guilty, change our habits, analyze our energy usage and search for our carbon footprint. Now, there is actual legislation in the works to limit our energy use and raise taxes in an effort to reduce "greenhouse gas emissions."

I am not saying that we, as citizens of this great Earth, are not without responsibility. I am all for recycling, using only what you need, reducing pollution, etc etc. I draw the line at having Congress enact actual legislation (stop spending my money and wasting time on the Hill) that will result in increased taxes and, ultimately, me paying more as a consumer. Enough already.

As inconvenient truths regarding the documentation of climate patterns over the years continue to trickle out, will we allow the administration and the media to downplay the significance? The head of a House global warming committee, Massachusetts Rep. Ed Markey, recently said that his Republican colleagues "sit over here using a couple of e-mails to (tell us) how to deal with a catastrophic threat to our planet." First of all, over 1,000 e-mail messages (and another 2,500 or so computer files) is not "a couple of emails." Second of all, the "catastrophic threat" language is getting old...and stale. Any cap and trade legislation 100% relies on the legitimacy of the "global warming facts." Without those facts, you are obligated an an elected representative of the people, to halt any progress on the bill.

Carol Browner, Obama's Climate Czar, has also downplayed the issue, saying "I’m sticking with the 2,500 scientists. These people have been studying this issue for a very long time and agree this problem is real.” Who are these 2,500 scientists? They are members of the International Panel on Climate Change! If climate change isn't real, they don't get paid! Tell me that's not an incentive to tweak data.

On a positive note, the global warming scare has created an entire industry of "green" products and jobs, which helps fuel the economy and our entrepreneurial spirit. Bravo! But, ultimately, the entire "truth" is looking more and more like a hoax. In light of this situation, maybe Congress will think twice before jumping the legislative-gun in an effort to tell me (and you) how to live our lives. One can hope.
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Watch John Stewart take on ClimateGate here.

What Would Ronnie Say?

Some of my favorite historical reads are those focused on Ronald Reagan (Dutch is classic for me). I adore this man. Not because he was a Republican but because he was true to his Conservative principles and to the Constitution. While driving to work today, I was reminded of a quote of his. Of course, it made perfect sense and reflected his simple eloquence: "Don't trust me, trust yourself." Pure truth that will stand the test of time. The world we lived in then was much different than the world we live in now. Who would have thought that dealing with the Communist would be far preferable to dealing with extreme religious fundamentalists? It's amazing to look back and see how Ronnie's words can be applied to our current political and economic situations. Check it out (my comments in red):

A people free to choose will always choose peace. Another way to say this would be, without freedom, there can be no peace.

Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today's world do not have. Still true today, which brings us back to the first quote above.

Approximately 80% of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emission standards from man-made sources. Can you say, "Climategate"?

Entrepreneurs and their small enterprises are responsible for almost all the economic growth in the United States. Amen, Brother! As small business owners, we feel a daily obligation to keep our team employed, serve our clients to the best of our ability and fuel this economy. The whole idea behind business it to MAKE MONEY...so don't regulate or tax us to death. This economy will continue to fail on the back of the government. Let us do our jobs as entrepreneurs!

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same. Never before have the freedoms of our children been so at risk. Perhaps we've become complacent or accustomed to the rights we have. Snap out of it! This is a great country when propped up by Constitutional principles. Why are we straying from them?

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. Our current administration is proving this point. I would also add that government finds a way to get the money for whatever need is creates (tax hikes, subsidies, etc etc).

Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves. Sadly, people are losing faith in themselves and government is not helping the situation. When the government is constantly communicating to us that we can't possibly take care of ourselves, we start believing it.

Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. Truer words have never been spoken.

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. No success can come of this strategy. The Founding Fathers would be shocked to see how our elected officials ignore the Constitution when making decisions. Government should be a representation of the will of the people, not a over-taxing, hyper-regulatory, subsidy-loving monster.

Don't you just love Ronnie?

Get Over Tiger

As much as I don't want to pay more attention to the Tiger drama, my thoughts on the issue can be found here, at realmomsguide.com.